I mentioned in a previous post about the funeral director's comments about being a spiritualist, and how his comments really helped me at a time that I really needed it.
I thanked him for his kind words and told him how they had really put things into perspective for me, and that I would be really interested to learn more. I have been bought up as a Christian, by a Christian family, however have always kept an open mind to other people's opinions and beliefs, with the intention of forming my own ideas. When I travelled the world at 19, I encountered many other cultures and was fascinated by the beliefs of other religons and tried to learn as much as I could to help make my own choices. I especially loved learning about Buddhism and spent a long time speaking with the monks about what they believed and read several books about their religon.
The funeral director contacted me, with the contact details for a close friend of his, who is a medium, and said to contact her to learn more about his religon and how the Spirit World works. I knew very little about this world, aside from having my cards read about four or five years ago, and after having that done I was very skeptical as the answers I was given was not what I wanted to hear. Saying that though, everything the lady told me unfolded in just the way she had predicted.
I met with the lady friend of his, and she spent a good hour explaining to me about how the world of spirits work and how she came to know all of this, and how she is able to communicate with spirits, and has been able to from a very young age. That answered all my questions on that side of things, and then she asked me if I would like to know about Harry. I was unsure how I felt about it, but as all she knew was that we had lost a baby, and she knew his name, and nothing about me, I thought it couldn't hurt to hear what she had to say. She told me I had a nun spirit guide called Sister Veronika and told me somethings about my childhood that I hadn't shared with anyone for a long time. She told me a lot about how Harry's spirit was still quite poorly and was being looked after in the nursery of the spirit world by two female ancestors. She told me that as soon as he was better, they would bring him to me and that I would know he was with me as I would be able to smell lily of the valley or violets. He would also come and put his hand on my arm when I am waking from sleep, and I might mistake it for William, but it will be Harry. She also mentioned some other things about my pregnancy and the events surrounding Harry's death and she was absolutely spot on. She told me that Harry's spirit hasn't done what it was intended to do, and that everyone's spirit has a "mission", and his was not fulfilled by his short time with us. He is destined to be a part of our family, so he will be coming back to us, and I will know it is him when I look into his eyes. She told me I would raise three children, and he will not be coming back as my next child, but my third. When we were finished, the lady told me not to be sad, as my boy would be coming back.
I left feeling much more settled and content, but slightly confused. What if this thought keeps me going and I don't grieve properly? What if this is all a load of rubbish and I have just been told a lot of coincidental information? It stayed in my head for days to come.
I was sat reading the Sunday papers at my parents house days later, and was reading a special about ladies perfumes. Randomly, the fragrances were groups by floral scent, and what should be at the top of the page? A group of scents similar to lily of the valley and next to that, violets. I was stunned.
I decided to go and see an evening of clairvoyance recommended by the lady who I saw. Keeping an open mind again, I listened to this medium talk to the other people in the audience about their loved ones, but found her not as accurate as the first lady I had seen. She was using peopel's personal items to help her with her readings, and I gave her my ring that my parents gave me for my 18th birthday. She took it and said "Your life is topsy turvy at the moment" and I said yes, and she started saying a few things that I wasn't really following, but stopped and said that she felt it would be more appropriate to speak to me after the evening had finished as she felt this was not for an audience. She said that she knew something traumatic had happened but couldn't put her finger on it. I told her we had lost our son, and she told me that my great-grandmother was looking after him and that he was ok. She told me that he has been with me, and that I know when he is with me as I can smell him. Now, ever since I saw that first lady, and I smell any kind of unexplained/unexpected floral smell, I think of Harry. She told me that I sing to him (which I do) and that he is trying to let me know he is around by sending me white feathers. I can't tell you how many white feathers I have seen this week, but it has been a noticeable amount. The thing that shocked me the most, and my friend as well, was that she said "he is coming back". For two people to say such similar things has made me feel like there must be some truth in this.
I am going to do my own reading into all this, and may meet with the first lady I saw, again. But in some way it has made me feel better. I don't want to think too much about it all as it is one of those things that could be all pie in the sky, but it is a nice way to look at a bad situation, and I will take that, for now...