Sunday, 29 July 2012

Blown away...

We had the first event of Harry's Trust this week, a sponsored walk organised by an old school friend. Thankfully it was a beautiful sunny day which made for an excellent turn out. There were blue helium balloons organised for all the people taking part to hold along their way, to be released when we reached the spot where we would be having a picnic after the walk.

It was amazing to see how many people had been touched by our story, and had come along to support us. I could see so many balloons bobbing about in the sea breeze, telling apart the "walkers" from the tourists. I felt overwhelmed. A lot of people who I didn't even know, who had come as they had heard from someone else. I couldn't believe it.

Setting up Harry's charity has been such a support for me. Not just to keep my mind busy but also to know, that in some way, I am able to support other people who have been in the same (ish) position as me. So that is why I was so overwhelmed, that others were helping to fundraise for charities that mean so much to me.

We walked along the seafront and it was just breathtaking to turn around and see how many people were following on the walk.


We had organised for each balloon to have a message to Harry on it. Some of the balloons were from little children, who had drawn pictures for Harry. William, my eldest son, is yet to have mastered his artistic skills and did a very lovely scribble, which he told me was a picture of the balloon. I found it much harder to write my message to Harry. What do you write to your baby that you will never see again? I could have sat and wrote a whole letter to him but only had a small space. I wrote "To my darling little Harry, You are in my thoughts... constantly. We all miss you. You are loved, so much, by so many. With love from, your Mummy xxx" I could only hope that somehow, he would be able to read this message. And then, as we were walking along the seafront, amazingly, my balloon came loose from William's pushchair, and was off! Up into the sky, soaring higher and higher. Alone. I was at first a bit upset as I hadn't had the emotional moment I had thought I would, letting go of my balloon. It was taken unexpectedly, so suddenly, and too soon. But on reflection, this is how I lost my baby.... taken unexpectedly, so suddenly and too soon. It was meant to be this way. My Nan said to me that Harry wanted my balloon first. And I like to look at it that way too.

When we got to the end point, we were met by a local newspaper photographer, who gathered us for a photograph. When he'd taken the photograph, we all let the balloons go. Watching all the balloons together in a group, each with their little messages to Harry, was a touching moment. As Harry's mum, it was nice to see a symbol of everyone's thoughts and wishes for Harry soaring off into the sky for our little boy waiting to read them all in Heaven.

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